Cottage life part 1

Cottage life part 1

To quote my favourite 5-year-old, “this is so amazing”

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The husband and I fulfilled a dream and bought our own cottage in the fall. It’s a well-built, if recently neglected, 3-bedroom plus bunkie on Georgian Bay. We took possession in the fall; since then we’ve spent a single night here on two different occasions but this weekend is the first time I feel like it’s becoming our own.

The fam is enjoying a lounge on the bunkie deck, basking in the warm sun that is hinting at what the summer will offer us, while over to my right there is still bits of snow in the shade of the trees. I have to agree that this is so amazing.

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Before you think that today has been nothing but leisure, the truth is I spent hours cleaning mold and mildew from various surfaces affected by a leaky roof, while the husband worked with a contractor to get our water running (straight from the lake!). Our morning was spent running errands in town (like buying a new water filtration system).

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There is still much to do, such as replacing the carpet in one of the bathrooms, fixing the dock and the boathouse, and replacing the old furniture that came with the cottage. But (and this is a big one) I feel so blessed as I sit here in the sun on the edge of Georgian Bay with my 3 guys. This life really is amazing.

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the story continues

I have long been silent on this blog, for a number of reasons. I could say that it’s because life got busy, and that would be true, but it’s more than that. I guess the main reason is that I was starting to get overwhelmed by how much everyone tends to overshare on social media, and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to do that anymore. I love the idea of having a place to record my thoughts and dreams and random sillyness. I also love having a creative outlet – my job is not a creative one and sometimes I feel like it saps the creativity right out of me. What do I? To sum up: copy edit. There are stringent grammar, style and punctuation rules that need to be adhered to, and at the end of the day, I no longer want to be sitting in front of a computer. Particularly when the rest of life needs to be attended to.

Throughout the past couple of years of radio silence, I have started drafts of posts, but I have never gone back to complete them, never quite sure how to express what I have wanted to say. This past year and a bit have been, well, hard. My sister has cancer. Even typing those words brings me to tears.

I have sat beside her through the worst of her days, I have done the talking in doctor’s appointments when she couldn’t find the strength to speak, I have watched over her while she slept fitfully after her days of chemo and radiation. And when the treatment was over, I have tried to be someone she can turn to with her frustrations, fears, and general randomness of life.

There are many days when I feel like a part of my soul is cracked from the emotional strain of this past year. Particularly because while I strive to be the rock that my big sister requires, I am also the the mom to two beautiful, very young, boys who need me to be their comfort and support while they find their way through life.

Here’s the thing: even though I have sat with my sister at countless doctor’s appointments and I have learned all that I could about her type of cancer (squamous cell carcinoma of unknown primary), I am realizing more and more as each day passes how separate I am from her. We are walking together through this path, and we are both nervous and scared, but it is her life that has been altered forever. No matter how much I want to help and support her, and even though I fully understand what is happening to her body, I will never really know what is happening in her heart and in her mind.

I am deeply wounded by living through this with her, but I am merely a bystander. There are many days when I want to let my fear and sorrow consume me, but I can’t. We don’t know how many months or years she has left of this life, and that is so hard for me to grasp, but I’m sure that it’s even more devastating to her and her children.

While she prepares herself for the possible surgery to remove what is left of a tumour, I am still living my (ever-so-slightly mundane) existence and planning for the future. So here it is: I also feel guilt and plenty of it. She is facing months of recovery, and possibly losing some mobility, while I consider what colour to paint my bedroom walls. It’s an awful thing. And I wish someone could tell me that everything was going to be just fine.

Best of part of finishing

I ran a 5K this morning, along with 7,999 other people, in the Toronto Waterfront Marathon extravaganza. For those of you who know me well, running is a new part of my life – I’ve always enjoyed working out, and trying to stay relatively fit (that includes eating donuts and chips, right?), but it’s only in the past several months that I’ve felt strong enough to be able to run any amount of distance.

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It was a bit of daunting task – the race started at the other end of the city at 8am, which meant being out of the house before I’m usually even out of bed in the morning (6:45am. yikes). With all the excitement, I barely slept (fear of sleeping too late I guess), and my stomach was unsettled. I had to gobble down a toasted freezer waffle and a yogurt when my stomach wanted nothing to do with either of them. 

 

I ran with a friend. It was hard – running along the roads downtown, many with a bit of an incline. No pretty scenery to look at, only a handful of spectators cheering us on. It felt great, though. We barely stopped (once to get a sip of water, once to fix my shoe) and I even had the energy to sprint the last 100 metres. We finished in about 35 minutes, which is pretty awesome for two 30-something women new to the running circuit.

Continue reading “Best of part of finishing”

Liebster Award

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As some readers of my blog may have noticed, I’m been a bit quiet on the writing front for many months, but I’ve recently started up again. One of my posts grabbed the attention of another WordPress blogger – http://wildlifewatcher.wordpress.com/ – and something in what (or how) I write must have tickled this blogger, because I’ve now been awarded the Liebster Award. I’m honoured that someone other than my friends and family members have enjoyed my posts. Thank you very much!

Wildlifewatcher (as you may have guessed) writes about the wildlife he/she spies around his/her home, and also posts some lovely photos. If that sorta thing tickles your fancy, I recommend checking it out.

Now, the big question: What is the Liebster Award, and when will I be getting my gold statue in the mail?

The Answer: This is an award given blogger-to-blogger, for blogs with around 300 (or fewer) followers. I will NOT be receiving anything shiny in the mail as a result, but I DO have the satisfaction that someone, somewhere, thinks that what I have written is deserving of notice. I’m touched. (sniff).

Continue reading “Liebster Award”

Random things found in my pockets

I am wearing the same jeans I wore the other day when we were at the park. I noticed something in my back pocket.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t collect and save these, so here is the question: who put these in my pocket? Also, (perhaps more important) how did I not notice?

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…just realized that I totally should have tried to work in a cleverly veiled Gollum/Bilbo reference. That would have good. Really, I would love to find an invisibility ring in my pocket – would totally come in handy on those days when I just want to sit quietly and read my book. for now, I just have a mini handful of pebbles. Perhaps I should investigate alchemy. It’s not difficult to learn, right?

sweetest sounds

I’m taking a few moments to sit and be still in my living room. It definitely feels like a stolen moment. I’ve just finished vaccuuming a few minutes ago and as I wrapped up the power cord, I heard a call from upstairs to “stay downstairs”. Luckily, neither of my guys are overly devious, so I have no cause for concern. They simply want to keep playing whatever game they’ve created without parental involvement. All I can hear is the sound of running up and down the hallway and various battle sounds. 

They play so nicely together now. Something fantastic happened over the summer – they each discovered that they actually enjoy playing together; they’ve become friends. It’s what I hoped for from the moment I found out I was pregnant with Nathan. I really hope it sticks with them as they grow together.

Listening to them play and giggle together is one of the greatest sounds in the world. Now I’ve gotta go: I’ve been told it’s craft time. Image

I think the local wildlife has it in for me (Part 1)

Yesterday afternoon after dropping off Brendan at his first day of Senior Kindergarten, I noticed something amiss in my back garden: where there was once a beautiful sunflower there now stood a broken stalk. Here it is:

once a beautiful sunflower, now a broken stalk. sad
once a beautiful sunflower, now a broken stalk. sad

I wish that I had taken a picture of it before it was vandalized by the local street bandits (you may know them as raccoons). There is a gang of them who hang around our yard at night, and I think they are retaliating against Trevor’s nightly assaults against them. You see, whenever he hears them or sees them in our yard, he shoots them with the “jet” stream from our hose. Perhaps they’ve had enough and decided to fight back. Either way, now that back patch looks even more sad than before, now that I’ve cut down the tomato plants (and have neglected to weed. What?)

Continue reading “I think the local wildlife has it in for me (Part 1)”